Today is ልደት(Christmas) and I can’t help but remember the memories of thanksgiving & worship nights I shared with so many of you, who at the moment happen to be frontline supporters of the genocidal war on Tigray & everything that ensued from it.

Although the world as I knew it is no more for me, I understand it has been business as usual over there & you are celebrating as you always do. And I wish I could say I am writing this to send you my holiday greetings, but that would be a lie.

I am writing this to let you know that, while you celebrate the birth of a compassionate Lord & Savor, I am in pain, so much pain I do not know how to bear or express.

I am in pain because the genocidal war you continue to support & enable is destroying everyone & everything that I love & cherish.

I am in pain because the denial of access to life sustaining services, commodities, aid & medication, that you are supporting, is killing my family

I am in pain because I do not know the whereabouts of my family for more than a year now, because of the communication blackout you are supporting

I am in pain because I hear that my brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, nieces & nephews could be dying from starvation, & other preventable conditions but I am denied access to reach out and help them.

I am in pain because the drone attacks you are supporting are killing my family.

I am in pain because my brothers & sisters are suffering in inhumane conditions, in concentration camps all over the country, due to the ethnic based mass arrest you support.

I am in pain because I do not know how to cope with the loss & suffering your cruelty is inflicting up on me

I am in pain … in so much pain and I wanted to let you know just that.

I am helpless & powerless. And I am fully aware how I feel or what I say doesn’t mean a thing to you; still think you should know.I am bearing the pain, thus I have earned the right to tell it. You have contributed for the pain to be inflicted upon me, hence you have the right to know that your efforts have come to fruition.

It is not my place to ask or judge how you could celebrate the birth of the ultimate LOVER while supporting an ultimate hate crime on a fellow human being – that would be between Him & you. I am here to simply state the fact that you are celebrating this day of commemoration of LOVE, MERCY, KINDNESS & COMPASSION while enabling the most CRUEL, HATE-driven, & MERCILESS killers our world has witnessed in recent history. And because you and millions more like you have stood with them, the genociders have managed to inflict immeasurable pain almost on every single Tigrayan or of Tigrayan heritage in this world now. I am one of those.

Amlakawit Medhin, Human Rights Advocate, Researcher.